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lyrics

KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you

You never see an old man having a Twix
They’re always eating Werther’s to get their fix
What’s good for some is not always good for all
You have to know what will make you feel 10 feet tall

I’m no Latin tattoo specialist, but there’s one thing that I know
It’s that “old cold” is the way to keep stones out of your kidneys

The Chinese don’t age very well
Is he the oldest man alive? It’s tough to tell
Turning like a pear overnight
Between 29 and 50 - there’s not one sight

Get some good wedding photos of your bride if she’s Chinese, take it from me
One day you’ll wake up and see you’re next to a wrinkled old lady

Gays go out too late at night
If Georgie had been home sooner, he’d have been alright
Only starting to get ready when I’m coming in
They're ironing their jeans at half past ten

Why’s the sex shop open, selling all these buttplugs at 8am?
Their customers are in bed, ‘cause it’s clear that they had another late night

KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you

KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP looks after me and you

KP’s got some theories
They might not be true
But KP’s got some theories for you

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about

Hugh Fays Manchester, UK

Hugh Fays is a band making music dedicated to the genius of Karl Pilkington. Hugh Fays is in no way affiliated with Karl Pilkington. We just feel the need to preach the gospel of KP.

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